Trains, Planes and Automobiles:

The Journey to Madrid in 1993

I was brought up in a Franco American household and neighborhood and did not speak English until I turned seven and entered parochial school. That's where I picked up my second language--half the day was taught in French and the other half in English. My Dad worked in middle management in an Anglo world, embarrassed about and struggling with his French accent. He did not want us to lose our heritage but made sure we had elocution lessons prior to entering high school and adulthood. Being bi-lingual was second nature to me and I always felt I could get by with what I had. I didn't realize that I would lose much of my French once I moved away from that environment.  Was it meant for me to also learn Italian so that I could communicate with Paolo Camellini, founder of the International Married Priest Movement, and eventually write letters to the Vatican?

In 1962 or 1963,  my sister Pauline recommended me when her boss was looking for an assistant in Rome. He was moving there for a year to help build railroads in a third world country. Pauline and her husband couldn't go because he was studying law at Catholic University. I was hired, but the project was cancelled just before I moved.

CITI's international connection began early on when I met the very distinguished married priest and president of the German movement, Rev. Dr. Heinz-Jurgen Vogels, at one of the religious conferences I was attending in the U.S. Heinz was intrigued with the Rent A Priest program and believed it needed to be introduced to the international community.

Heinz Jurgen Vogels

 In early 1993, Heinz informed me of an upcoming conference of the International Federation of Married Priests in Madrid, Spain,  the following August. The attendance was expected to include married priests and married bishops from approximately 25 to 30 different countries. As one of the co-founders of the Federation, Heinz encouraged me to attend and said that if I were to travel there, he would arrange for a presentation of CITI/Rent A Priest to the general assembly.

I had not been to Europe in over 15 years, never to Spain and did not speak Spanish, so I invited my sister Pauline to come with me. She was always eager to travel and was fluent in the language. Pauline had also just taken an immersion course in France in order to brush up on her French.  I promised Pauline a week of traveling in Spain after the conference, so she agreed to go with me. Our trip would include touring Madrid and visits to Avila where St. Teresa of Avila's convent was, as well as Segovia where John of the Cross was buried.

Pauline and I in Madrid, Avila and Segovia, 1993

Pauline's invaluable language skills became apparent as soon as we landed in Madrid. She was able to read signs at the various train, subway and bus stations, as well as communicate with agents whenever necessary. We were travelling to Alcobendas, pretty far from downtown Madrid.

I honestly don't know what I would have done without Pauline with me. We started in Boston after she flew in from Washington D.C. When we arrived in Madrid, we took a subway to the train station, and then a train as far as it would go. From there, a bus as far as it would go. I have no idea the name of the town/village where we were dropped off, luggage and all, but there was still some travelling to do to get to the conference site and we were tired and frustrated. We dragged our luggage along a dirt path until we saw someone we could talk to. Pauline's Spanish helped us locate the only taxi driver in the town, who was on siesta. A very kind gentleman walked us to his home to awaken him so we could get to our final destination. The taxi driver obliged.

Looking for the taxi driver

On our way to the conference center, the driver carried on a conversation with Pauline. He apparently asked her what we were doing there. She replied that we were attending a married priest conference. He almost stopped the car, turned around and said, "There's no such thing as married priests!" She then translated the facts as I was feeding them to her, good practice for what she would be doing the next few days.

The retreat house was a medieval Dominican convent, circa 1500. It was like walking into a sauna and steam room--100 degrees and 100% humidity. Absolutely no air. Anyone who has been to Spain in August would understand. Of course, it had no elevators, no pool, and no air conditioning. People looked at us skeptically as we struggled up two flights of stairs with our enormous luggage. After all, we were two American women traveling to Europe for two weeks.

Our room just fit two cot-sized twin beds with old springs, one chair, one small bureau and a corner sink. I don't remember where we put the suitcases. There simply was no room and it was so unbearably hot that everyone on the floor left their respective doors and windows open in order to catch what little breeze that might come between 3:00 A.M. and 4:00 A.M. Fortunately, the large assembly hall was air conditioned, so there was respite for a few hours a day.

The dining room looked like a scene from the movie "Oliver" where the young orphaned boys eat their porridge at every meal. The room had a cold cement floor, long metal tables and a hollow sound throughout. Meals were announced by an old school hand bell. As I look back now to most religious conferences I attended, I most always came home a few pounds less.

Married priests from all over the world were in attendance, many with their spouses.  There were close to 400 representing 25 nations. One priest, Jon Hermann, had hitchhiked for a month from India, in order to reach the Conference on time. 

The U.S. delegation in Madrid, 1993

My presentation to the assembly

My friend Heinz arranged for me to be able to set up a small table in order to distribute Rent A Priest materials and information to other countries. I was hoping to find a few lay people interested in starting similar movements in their respective home territories. (I didn't realize that we were probably the only lay people there.)

The Rent A Priest table

Soon, a reporter came up to me and said, "I have an interview with Paolo Camellini. Can you point him out to me?" My heart stopped! I shockingly and quietly replied, "Camellini is here?"

I had to find him.

The following is from my journal dated September 12, 1993:

How I remember Paolo Camellini.

Piercing Eyes. Stares. Frustration. To encounter someone several times over two/three days, wanting so much to share thoughts and not being able to because of a language barrier. Like what I would envision were I mute.

I remember at times looking in the corner of a room and find him staring at me. Stares that said, "Who are you?", "Where did you come from?",  "You're not what I envisioned God would send." The latter comment causing the biggest insecurity on my part. (Even after a year and a half in this very public advocacy--public in religious circles at least--I would hear "until the lay people get involved, we will get nowhere." I sometimes feel they expected a clone--someone like them. I'm so unlike what they have/had in mind to attract [as an advocate]. I am ignored. But, while they keep looking for that 'person in the pew' with the credentials that will make them more comfortable, I am able to accomplish a lot in their behalf.

When I read Carla and Paolo's story in David Rice's SHATTERED VOWS in the early days of my research about married priests, I was so moved that I called David in Ireland to get their address. I was ready to fly to Italy to tell the Camellini's of my own experience. I just felt we were connected. It never occurred to me that Paolo would even be at the conference. When I finally pointed him out to my sister Pauline, she said, "Why, he was sitting right next to you at the first general session."

Nothing else mattered except to find an interpreter, find Camellini and hope for a private meeting. A new friend at the conference , married priest Salvatore Umana from New York was the interpreter during our hour conversation. (As I relive the experience and write this, it still gives me goose bumps.)

Though that meeting must remain private per his request, I will share with you the messages we both had received:

1. We must pray that priests be allowed to freely choose between celibacy and marriage, so that the sinfulness in the priesthood can stop.

2. Vite, vite, vite!...[hurry, hurry, hurry]. Too much time has been wasted--too much damage has been done.

My first meeting with Paolo Camellini, Founder of the International Married Priest Movement
Madrid, Spain, 1993

As I walked out the door, Paolo gave me a blessing and said, "I believe everything you have told me. I can read it all over your face. Know that you don't have to look...God will find you wherever you are, whenever there is a message for you regarding your mission."

Paolo and I communicated as best we could through interpreters over the next eight years. In those days, the Italian language programs for computers were not very sophisticated, so much would be lost in translation especially at my end.

I would see Paolo two more times: once in Assisi in 1995, where he had invited me to present a paper at the second international Synod of married priests. Our second and final encounter would take place in 1999 in Atlanta, Georgia, in conjunction with the next meeting of the International Federation and Paolo's final Synod, the Synod of Jerusalem, at which he invited me to preside.

1995-Assisi, Italy

In Assisi, ten to fifteen papers were presented over a four-day period by married priests and bishops from as far away as South America, as well as by others like myself and a married priest couple, Donna and Rev. William Podobinski from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. A Holy Spirit event, the participants were asked to present their own spiritually inspired papers. From across the globe, the outcome was the same--Home Churches--like it was in the beginning.

Two other papers from probably the only two lay people in attendance, concentrated on the scandals of the church. One was on the corruption in the Vatican, presented by a retired judge from Venice. Mine dealt with clergy sexual abuse, with evidence from several countries.

(One month prior, I  had retired from my employment and returned to college to learn how to do statistical analysis. I had been unable to find anyone interested in researching clergy sexual abuse and mandatory celibacy, but knew it needed to be done. I was drawn to the studied because my own cursory research indicated that there might be a difference between child sexual abuse among the general public vs. celibate priests. The demographics were different regarding both predators as well as victims. I had spoken with survivor support organizations, an FBI investigator as well as well-known researchers on the subject. There was a lot of encouragement to continue the work.)

Like in Madrid 1993, there was frustration in 1995 between Paolo and me because of the language problem. There was so much we wanted to discuss spontaneously, but were unable to do so. We did  enjoy being together and Dick and I had the opportunity to meet Carla and their son Daniele for the first time. An interpreter from Rome, plus Heinz with his knowledge of eight languages, were able to assist with whatever communication we were able to have.

With each visit, a blessing, a smile and a hug. Paolo was very tiny, my little "Piccolo" as he would call himself. I was so tall next to him. It was fun standing side by side.

Assisi, 1995



1999-Atlanta, Georgia 

There were many highlights in 1999. The much anticipated Clergy Sexual Abuse Victim Study was finally finished at Framingham State College, later covered in my book along with other studies, THE BINGO REPORT: mandatory celibacy and clergy sexual abuse was published in 2005*. Rent A Priest sister organizations had been developed in Denmark, South Africa and Canada. The Denmark organization was formed by a married priest and his wife, and a few other colleagues, while the action in South Africa was started by a lay woman with a publicity background, yielding a goodly amount of news and TV coverage in that country. The Canadian movement had difficulties because of the ties between church and state as well as the varying marriage laws in each province.

1999 was also the year of the next International Federation of Married Priests meeting and International Synod, this time in Atlanta, Georgia. It was the third and final time I would see Paolo.

He arrived late at night from Rome. I enlisted the assistance of married priest Michael Aparo from Connecticut, so that Paolo's visit would be as comfortable as possible in terms of communication. Others helped: Tony Marotta, Francis Arcangeli of South Africa and Umberto Lenzi of Washington State, who translated the talk I had prepared for the Third Synod. Heinz was the moderator and I presided. 

Mike Aparo and Paolo Camellini, Atlanta, 1999

Paolo and I were both so happy to see one another. We hadn't seen been together in four years since the Synod in Assisi in 1995. It was joyous!

Left to right: Joan Lang, Rentapriest Canada, Louise, Paolo, Frances Minderlein

Atlanta, 1999

The married priest conference was held at a vast college campus and we had quite a walk in between buildings for workshops, meals and housing.

From my Journal, August 18, 1999:

After a few days, Paolo motioned for me to sit with him at lunch...just the two of us. Oh my! But, how would we communicate? We began speaking a very unusual French, so well that we carried on a conversation for almost an hour. We understood each other. All I could think was, "Thanks, God. Thanks, God. Thanks, God." Paolo told me that I was his "soul mate," after Carla, of course. I felt the same way, after Dick, of course.

Later in the week, Paolo said, "Nous avons un Paolo/Louise nouvelle Francois grammaire." (We have a new Paolo and Louise French grammar.) Our own language. Very few could have understood the communication that the Holy Spirit gave us during those two weeks. 

The Atlanta Synod, known as the Jerusalem Synod, which occurred after the Federation meeting followed the same format as in Assisi in 1995. Attendees presented their spiritually inspired messages, which at the end of four days had the same thread:

*Proclaiming that the Pope should release more autonomy to the Bishops

*The Bishops should be elected by the people

*There should be an international meeting of people from all religions to discuss issues of the turn of the century

Jerusalem Synod, Atlanta, Georgia 1999

After the Synod, Paolo and Heinz came to our home in Framingham for a visit prior to returning to Europe, and to prepare a document on the Synod commentaries for the Vatican and the news media. Heinz and I worked on the English version, after he and Paolo had prior discussions.

 

Heinz and Paolo, Boston, 1999

Paolo Camellini Signing the Atlanta/Jerusalem  Synod Document

Heinz Jurgen Vogels Signing the Atlanta/Jerusalem Synod Document

Louise Haggett Signing the Atlanta/Jerusalem Synod Document

The Press Conference to release the Atlanta/Jerusalem Synod Document

While Heinz and I would prepare the English paper, Paolo spent his time quietly walking around the backyard, rosary beads at his side, at times sitting under a tree where he had placed a chair that would face the house. He sat and prayed. He also enjoyed our dog Benji. The feeling was mutual and Benji would follow him around in the yard.

Benji wearing Paolo's hat

Paolo became intrigued watching Dick clean the pool, so whenever a leaf fell in, Paolo would pick up the net and remove it like it was his new charge.

Paolo in Framingham, 1999 

We took them to a German restaurant in Boston, then an Italian restaurant in Framingham where Paolo ordered spaghetti and meatballs. He howled when he saw the huge American portions and kept saying, "familia"--big enough for a whole family. I had never seen him laugh so hard.

The visit was one of the highlights of my life. Our home has never been so blessed as with the presence of both Paolo and Heinz, and it was the last time I would see Paolo for he died the following April in the year 2000, after having a stroke in his rose garden at the rectory where he lived.



When I first met Paolo in Madrid in 1993, I felt haunted by him. I still felt haunted by him in 1999. He had a certain kind of mystique that I still cannot explain. For me, however, Paolo was the culmination of my need to frame the work I was drawn to do. It was time to go find the married priests and put them back to work, serving those with spiritual needs not being met by the church. 

It's amazing that the invitation I received in 1962 or 1963 to work in Rome for a year would have happened just about the time of the Second Vatican Council when the discussion of optional celibacy in the priesthood was put on the agenda by Pope John XXIII.

Piccolo Paolo

###





Installment 3

 

"Holy Spirit, Are You Kidding?"

 

Crossing the threshold into the inner-workings of the church albeit the church community or church reform is like stepping into another culture, probably best compared to becoming an educator, or going into politics, or moving to a third world country for a few years. New socialization is required. It is somewhat of a shock initially because you've been Catholic all your life and you thought you knew what was going on.  So many questions. For instance, who outside the church's inner circle knew that mandatory celibacy was not God's law? Who knew the law was churchmen's law, churchmen's political law? Who even knew that 100,000 priests had left?  Who knew that priests fooled around? We were accustomed to the transient lifestyles of most pastors and curates in our parishes. Most transitioned after six or seven years. Who knew where they went? Catholics thought it was to another parish. The majority of us didn't realize many were leaving to get married. These new findings were very different and I was such a neophyte. Many married priests were innocent too.

 

 

Who knew that the political hierarchy wrote two sets of Canon Laws, first to forbid priests to marry and forbid priests who married from exercising their ministry. The second set of laws --21 of them--reminded priests of their duty to minister if they were asked by the people. In fact, one law specifically says the request cannot be refused (Canon 843). Did the hierarchy have fears of divine repercussion because of the mandatory celibacy law they wrote in 1139? They knew it did not come from God. The second set of laws--those that forced priests to minister when asked--were written but never made public, so no one really knew unless they read The Cole of Canon Law.

 

Most importantly, priests were bound by promise to obey the bishop at all costs--even after they left their clerical position. Lee Ganim was told to move 500 miles away from his station when he took a leave of absence, and he did. Anthony Padovano was told he would be welcome again after his wife died. Ralph Pinto was told to have an affair ("Get it out of your system.") instead of marrying Linda. Fortunately, he did not obey. All were told never to tell anyone they were a priest, and to put their chalice in the closet forever.

 

I was defiant all of my life. I guess I would have never made it in a convent. Strange that I should have been the one who would take those 21 Canon Laws to encourage married priests to defy  the promises they made to their Bishop, obey Canon Law and take care of the people. Strange that the Canon Law research had been sitting around married priest circles for twenty years and no one was doing anything about it.

I remember attending a workshop on Canon Law, conducted by a Canon Lawyer, at my first married priest conference in June, 1992. One priest wanted to know if he would be permitted to celebrate the Eucharist (Mass) in his living room with his family. His chalice had been put away for years and the only thing he was told he could do was to provide the Last Rites to a dying person.

The CITI workshop the morning of the conference had maybe seven or eight married priests in the audience. As we were sharing stories, one  priest told of a Chicago area church that had no resident pastor, yet 19 married priests would be sitting in the pews when the visiting priest came for Sunday Mass.  (They called the visiting priest a circuit rider who celebrated Mass in three or four churches each week.) So I said, "Why not puncture the visiting priest's tires at his previous parish earlier in the day so a married priest could say Mass instead?" They thought it was funny, but the concept rang a bell because the morning workshop attended by 8 was followed by a larger room and people sitting on the floor at the afternoon session--75 or 80 people.

It was also at that conference that I saw, however never met, Del Smolinski, the Canon Lawyer who changed my life in CITI. Del had spent twenty years researching The Code of Canon Law which he was able to use for his own position as a married Catholic hospital chaplain back in the 1980s and 1990s. It was what we needed to put these priests back in public ministry, at the time I thought for the purpose of replacing circuit rider priests with resident pastors in the many churches that had already been closed because of the priest exodus. 

                                                        Del Smolinski, 1993                                                

So, what to do about all this information? Canon Law that allowed married priests to minister publicly and 25,000 U.S. priests married and awaiting the (second) call. It was my summer dilemma. My summer prayer. My summer questions to God: "So, you've called me to Your service; you've given me this enlightenment and knowledge, but, you haven't told me what to do. I need a little help here."

The married priest conference took place in the latter part of June,following months of research on my new curiosities regarding mandatory celibacy. Stories were also abounding about clergy sexual abuse, stories one would see only if one were looking. I was seeking reactions from other mainstream Catholics--"Who else knew what I had discovered?"

I became inspired to actually write ad copy for the first time in my life (my work in the Boston advertising agency had been on the business end, not creative). These ads addressed the issues of priest shortages, closed churches and the political climate surrounding the hierarchy regarding mandatory celibacy. Dick and I had received a healthy bonus for sales achievements the previous year. I used my share to incorporate CITI and to run ads in National Catholic Reporter to arouse interest among the religious community, and in regional issues of TV Guide Magazine to create awareness among the public sector. The response was phenomenal.

These above ads were part of a series of ads directed to the Bishops that ran in National Catholic Reporter in 1992. They were among other ads winning the prestigious Boston Hatch Awards that year.

 

 

The above ads ran in regional editions of TV Guide Magazine and also won prestigious awards in Boston Hatch Awards. My greatest joy was when they were hung next to ads written for the Archdiocese of Boston in 1993.

Letters and $$ arrived from priests and married priests, along with stories from the general public who had suffered emotional abuse at parish level (e.g., one grandmother wrote that her two grandchildren would not be baptized because her son "no longer attended Sunday Mass and was not putting donations in the basket.") At that time, no one really knew that almost 75% of the Catholic population no longer attended weekly services (1992). TV Guide later wrote that they hadn't had this kind of reaction to any ads in their magazine in over 15 years. Our ads ran in only 7 out of 106 Tv Guide markets.

I was perplexed. So many churches had closed, so many had no resident priest, so many Catholics without the Sacraments especially those in dire need like my Mother. Why then, were the news releases I was sending the media regarding optional celibacy not being published? Why were they completely ignored? I certainly knew what I was doing given 17 years experience in advertising and television and another almost 13 or so years in sales and marketing.

Several articles had been written about clergy sexual abuse and mandatory celibacy by a reporter for the New Orleans Times Picayune in the late 1980s and early 1990s. When I contacted him to inquire about the CITI news releases, he said that the subject unfortunately was being treated with a "ho hum" attitude by the news media because, "mandatory celibacy has been around for 860 years and isn't about to change soon." He wished me well and added, "I hope you don't lose your faith over this."

At the end of these puzzling weeks, I threw the problem back to the Holy Spirit, "If you want me to do something, you're going to have to come up with a better plan." That was my prayer throughout July and August, 1992.

In mid-September, I was in Maine at our cottage with my sister who was visiting for a few days. During one of the weekend nights, I had a dream, a vision. I saw two hands holding the Communion Host the way we see during Eucharist at Mass. However, there was a brilliant gold ring on the third finger of the left hand. I even saw the brochure with this illustration in my dream. Above it, three words:

 

RENT A PRIEST

 

 

 

 

Oh My God!!!

 

 

The next day, I phoned Del Smolinski and told him of my vision. I then set up a conference call among Del, another married priest and myself and together, we developed the contents of the brochure to include pertinent information regarding Canon Laws that validated married priests and their public ministry...along with suggestions as to how one might call a priest for spiritual needs.

 

 

The slogan Rent A Priest became so popular that it brought to our front door, television cameras from as far away as Belgium and Austria, later NY Times and the front page of the International Herald Tribune. Reporters made fun of it, some thought it was irreverent, we even made news in National Catholic Reporter in February 1994.

                                               Belgian Catholic Television Crew
                                               in Framingham, Mass. USA to
                                               do a story on Rent A Priest, (youtube.com/also vimeo.com)
                                               prompting a Rent A Priest
                                               organization of married priests
                                               in their country.


 Most excitingly, 60 Minutes saw our little homemade booth with a felt cloth sign in the fall of 1994 at a national Catholic church reform conference. The Mike Wallace interview in 1995 (youtube.com) was my personal favorite because CITI's married priest Vice President John Shuster and I had not been invited to participate in the round of interviews taking place at that weekend's conference, yet we were the ones who made the cut. The slogan was controversial and we were an embarrassment to many of the more conservative church folks. But, the public "got it."

Mike Wallace, Rev. John Shuster, Louise Haggett, January 1995 (youtube.com and vimeo.com)


While our intention was to attract priestless parishes, the surprising response to Rent A Priest was among the unchurched, lapsed Catholics as well as the many divorced who wanted to remarry without an annulment, and for various interfaith rituals--those among the hundreds of thousands who had been turned away from their local parish. Our motto became: "If the church says no, call us."


By the end of 1992, we were beginning to get requests for priests, but hardly had any priests to respond. Even though they were obligated to the people, defiance of their promises to their bishop was a difficult thing to overcome and they had not yet been convinced enough.
#

 

 



 



 



Installment No. 2

Setting the Tone
 



 

The Call

“See my servant, whom I uphold; my Chosen One, in whom I delight. I have put my Spirit upon him; he will reveal justice to the nations of the world. He will be gentle—he will not shout nor quarrel  in the streets. He will not break a bruised reed, nor quench the dimly burning flame. He will see full justice given to all who have been wronged. He won’t be satisfied until truth and righteousness prevail throughout the earth.”

 

As I sat in the church pew in January, 1992 on the Feast Day of Jesus, I heard the above reading from Isaiah 42 and instinctively believed that God was talking to me. It was so  powerful that I looked around me to see if anyone else was impacted. It was like thinking someone is waving at you from the other side of a crowded room and you look around to see if the wave is meant for someone else. No one else looked as stunned as I was so it was definitely my call, one that I would hear many times over the next few Januaries. That experience was to be the first of many profound “spiritual doo-doos” especially in the 1990s.

When the Holy Spirit plucks you out of nowhere and starts inspiring you pretty directly, it’s difficult to ignore! There is no mistaking it! When you are singled out, you feel like you're the only one called. You and you alone. And there is no mistaking that you have to respond, probably like when Jesus chose his Apostles; or even when He picked the first seven women who were ordained by three Roman Catholic bishops in Austria several years ago; or the  Chosen Few among the hundreds of thousands of Catholic clergy sexual abuse victims who are bringing the church to justice today; even Pope Francis who is trying to right the wrongs in the church. The call is inescapable no matter where you are or what you are doing. 

That was the beginning of the formation  of CITI-Celibacy Is the Issue though I did not know it at the time. The call was real--the blueprint missing.

The Eye Opener

The eye-opening experience that led to the mission was my childhood friend Jeanne who visited me at my Dad’s funeral. in February 1991. I had not seen Jeanne in 40 years so imagine my surprise when her response to my question, "So what does someone our age do around here for excitement?" (I knew she had been divorced). She said, "My life is quite complete. I have been in a relationship with a priest for 13 years." I was speechless. I had never heard of such a thing! 

 Jeanne and I reconnected and shared lunch several times over the next few months. My family was going to Maine  frequently to clean out and sell our homestead. Since I had recently discovered the shortages in the Roman Catholic priesthood while trying to find a priest to visit my Mom, I was too curious not to ask questions about her relationship with her priest friend. This was all so new to me. 

I would later spend many hours at various libraries in Maine and Boston during 1991 and 1992, where I discovered priests in relationships, priests who had married and clergy sexual abuse. While churches were closing in the Midwest, nothing so public was happening on the East Coast.  In fact, eleven families in a remote area of Wisconsin had become Episcopalian because their local  Catholic church was closed and sold to another denomination. The congregation had been forced to drive great distances to attend Sunday Mass. Regarding clergy sexual abuse, I found a 15-page article that appeared in Vanity Fair in December, 1991 regarding a very public case in New Orleans, where the priest perpetrator had been hidden from the courts for two years because he was a friend of the Catholic District Attorney.

Another powerful "spiritual happening" occurred in 1991 at the funeral of the father of a friend of ours, a few months after that of our parents. The impact of another grieving family so soon after my own parents never occurred to me, else I might not have attended. I cried throughout . When the casket was coming down the church aisle to leave for the cemetery, all of a sudden I felt a loving arm against my back, holding me. I turned left, right and behind. No one had touched me. It was definitely the spirit of some being or Being. I'll never forget that moment.

Our religion was not a participatory religion. My recollection is that we were never taught theology or the Scriptures, only church rules and regulations. and we were not really spiritually aware as children at such sacraments like Baptism (birth), First Communion (7 years old) and Confirmation at about 13 years old. Even to this day, the Catholic Church prefers we not read the Bible unless an ordained priest is available to provide the church's "interpretation" as our local congregation was recently told at a winter retreat. It is therefore, not unusual that we as  mainstream Catholics would not remember being informed of the Vatican II Synod that took place in the 1960s.

A simplistic summary of Vatican II: Pope John 23rd called the Synod explaining that it was time to "open the windows and let the fresh air in." Among other major changes that might take place like Mass in the vernacular, it was expected that birth control would now be allowed among practicing Catholics. Most important to those inside the walls was the issue of optional celibacy for priests. The expectation was that priests would now be allowed to marry.  Unfortunately, our beloved Pope died while the Synod was in progress. When Pope Paul VI took over, everything changed--and nothing changed regarding these major issues except Mass in the local language.

The twenty years that followed saw a mass exodus of priests, 9 out of 10 to marry. Of those, 40%-45% married nuns. Thus, the beginning of priest shortages in the church. A sociological study  conducted in the 1980s with files from diocesan archives is available in the book Full Pews and Empy Altars (Schoenherr and Young, 1993).

In the spring of 1992, someone recommended that I read Shattered Vows by award-winning journalist and married priest David Rice. It was an account of some of the priests who left their clerical status to marry. The book was translated into eight languages and became a bestseller in several European countries with a television documentary to follow.  Shattered Vows was blocked from distribution in the U.S. When the U.S. version was finally released, it was abridged, edited to remove pages that implicated the bishops and their harsh treatment of priests who married.  (Later when the original unabridged bestseller edition was finally published for the U.S. audience, the Catholic Church bought the U.S. publishing house and the newly-printed books never made it to the retail shelves. One can occasionally find a used copy of the original book on Amazon.com.)

I was particularly drawn to the chapter featuring Carla and Paolo Camellini, a Carmelite priest from Italy. Carla was a church-authenticated visionary like St. Teresa of Avila, founder of the Carmelite order, both having spiritually ecstatic relationships with Jesus. Carla, a widow with two children spent summer vacations in the area where Fr. Paolo happened to be the local pastor. During one of her vacations, she experienced an intercession with Jesus,  directing her to tell Paulo that they were to be married, and to form an international association of married priests. (There were over 100,000  married priests worldwide at the time.) Carla was reluctant to approach this priest she hardly knew, but did as she was told. Within two weeks, Paolo was granted a dispensation from Rome from his celibacy vows and they were married.

Ten years later, Carla received a new Divine message that “it was time” to begin the work on a global married priest movement, which became the International Federation of Married Priests, formed by Paolo, Rev. Heinz Jurgen Vogels, then President of the German Married Priest movement and one or two other married priests from various European countries.

 

                                             Carla Camellini, October, 1995, Assisi Italy

I was profoundly touched by the story of the Camellinis because through my many readings and prayerful moments the previous few months, Teresa of Avila was  strongly in my presence and I had no idea why. I contacted Shattered Vows author David Rice in Ireland and said, “I have to meet Paolo and Carla.” His response, “It would be Impossible because they live in a very small remote Italian village and they don’t speak English." (I would meet them a year later.) St. Teresa of Avila’s presence every day was so strong,  I was crushed at the news of being unable to communicate with the Camellinis, but kept wondering, “What does Teresa of Avila have to do with all this?” There was also a lot of “Why ME?” going on too.

Prior to my involvement as a now more informed Catholic, I had also never  heard of mystical theologians. The spiritual inspirations during CITI's foundation especially in 1992 were so frequent at times that I was afraid I was beginning to "lose it." I would wake up  in the morning and say to Dick, “Wow! Do you know what the Holy Spirit said last night?” His response, “Sure.” He thought for sure I had gone off the deep end. 

I was  finally given the name of mystical theologian Dr. Keith Egan connected with Notre Dame. When I related to him all that was happening, He said, “I believe you. Stop worrying about where the messages are coming from and just do what you’re told.” At that point, I knew that at least I wasn't nuts, and followed his direction. Dr. Egan also referred me to Sister Vilma at a nearby Carmelite Monastery and suggested that I visit her at some point. However, when I called, she was traveling doing retreats and would not be available until fall.

 

On October 15, 1992, I was traveling to the western part of Massachusetts doing some sales work.  For some reason, Teresa of Avila was taking over my thought process throughout the day. I couldn't concentrate on my work and couldn't figure out why. When I returned to our office in Framingham about 6:30 p.m. just prior to going home, I felt compelled to reach Sr. Vilma right away. I called the Monastery and was told, that Sr. Vilma "could not come to the phone right now. This is the Feast Day of St. Teresa of Avila and Sr. Vilma is very busy getting ready for a special service at 7:00 tonight." I freaked out! I quickly shut out the lights, closed the office door and went home.

 

A pamphlet was in our mailbox the next day announcing a series of mystical workshops at a Franciscan Monastery in Northern Massachusetts and the first one would be featuring St. Teresa of Avila. Needless to say, I attended.  The talk was given by Fr. Kieran Kavanaugh, a Carmelite who had spent his life researching this saint and had written many books on her. Fr. Kavanaugh said, and this was confirmed later by Sr. Vilma, that the main focus of Teresa of Avila and the Carmelite order was to pray for the "priesthood" and for the "preservation of the sacraments."

On November 3, 1994, Paulo and Carla Camellini wrote me that "one of the last message from Jesus to Carla was to proclaim Santa Teresa D'Avila like Patron Saint of Married Priests mission. As you can see, through to Teresa D'Avila , God joint us to you and you to us." [sic.]

#

 

 

 

A Little of my Background

A Life of Extended Blessings

January 9, 2014

"Fighting ideas is like fighting clouds. You can punch and kick, but what difference will it make? The way to impact the world today is by tackling the tangible items."

When I read the above in my horoscope a few days ago, it was like re-living my experiences in Rentapriest, a name that is still being googled more frequently than its original parent company name CITI or Celibacy Is the Issue. The horoscope reading finally inspired me to begin to reminisce on paper (blog) about the 20 or so years of life-changing events for myself as well as those who may have been impacted by Rentapriest, be they Roman Catholic priests, their spouses or the recipients of their ministry, or the many who have supported them and the mission of optional celibacy in the Catholic Church.

For those new to the story, Rent A Priest (Rentapriest) is a free referral service of married Catholic priests (priests who married) available for sacramental ministry to Catholics and others needing spiritual assistance.

My mother, Yvonne Blanche Gousse Labbe, was the inspiration for the founding of CITI/Rentapriest, for it was in her time of need that I discovered the shortage of priests and subsequently priests who married, Catholic clergy sexual abuse* and a host of other politics in the Catholic Church, what I had thought was my sanctuary.

The last photo I have of my Mom and me, taken March, 1991, two weeks before she died.

In the summer of 2013, I was told that one of my mother's ancestors, Etienne de Lessard, donated the land for the Ste. Anne de Beaupre Shrine in Ste Anne de Beauce, Quebec, Canada, I thought, "Why am I not surprised. This is just another one of those 'doo-doo doo-doo moments in my life." And so my husband Dick and I arranged a trip North. I just wanted to see with my own eyes, and to drink the spirit of, Etienne de Lessard, who is buried in the Church. Ste. Anne of course was Jesus' grandmother and the Shrine is one of the foremost healing sanctuaries in the world.

My Mom was a very special woman. We've always described her as an angel, also a very smart and strong woman. A Canadian priest cousin of my Dad's told him of his betrothal to my mother in 1933 that she was "un morceau d'or" (a piece of gold). The Ste Anne lineage was just another confirmation for me.

Yvonne Blanche Gousse Labbe, L'Abbe (Rev.) Lucien Lacharite, cousin/officiant, Raoul Ovide Labbe, married July 4, 1933

Divine intervention led me to CITI/Rentapriest in 1992 and the most phenomenal journey of my life. The Holy Spirit even provided a nonprofit specialist, married priest Rev. Donald Horrigan, to help me transition to retirement when it was time in 2011. The stories behind the work of the Holy Spirit during the 20 years of my involvement with CITI/Rentapriest have never been told. I had been warned early on that only scholastic justification would be recognized by the religious community, so "Don't tell those stories." Well, this is the beginning of the stories that need to be told before the end of my own life.

CITI/Rentapriest was "produced and directed" by the Holy Spirit. I was just an instrument. I have no other explanation for the many coincidences--God-incidence, providence or "doo-doo doo-doo happenings"--with regard to my life in the movement.

Perhaps the earliest unusual spiritual experience I remember was playing the part of Jesus in the first, second and third grades. I still wonder why the nuns would have chosen a girl for the role in a co-ed school with many boys available in my class. (I often wonder why the Holy Spirit chose a woman for Rentapriest too). There was very little dialogue for my part of the baby Jesus in the school play during the first two years. However, I remember having to learn quite a few lines the third time I played the part.

During grade school, we lived  a mile or so from the church. I remember spending much of my weekend time at the church. I was fascinated by weddings and funerals, especially the beautiful hymns. I don't recall much about the funerals in terms of the dead or grieving families, but I do remember the confetti and pretty wedding gowns. In fact, we would gather the confetti and bring it home for the plays we put on in the garage.

I remember writing plays and directing them; in particular one in which the Blessed Mother was Annette Baril from up the street. Annette's mother had the most beautiful peonies I had ever seen so I staged a scene where there would be a peony at the Blessed Mother's feet and of course, that would have to be portrayed by Annette since she brought the flowers. In sixth or seventh grade, I remember writing and directing a play for the entire school including the faculty of Presentation of Mary sisters and the pastor and curates. It featured my friend Jackie Lessard as Alice Blue Gown, a popular song in the mid to late 1940s. Jackie jokes today that the reason she got the part was because she was the only one who had a blue gown.

During these early years, a neighbor and I would also spend some Saturdays at the convent helping the nuns clean up (wash windows, dust, etc.). My spiritual devotion was pretty strong. I remember having Holy Water near my bedroom door and talking to God in everyday conversation instead of rote prayers. I still do that. Once my Mom asked if I had thought of becoming a nun. That probably burst my bubble as it was never in my frame of reference even though I enjoyed the company of the religious...nuns and priests, even to this day. They have always provided a comfort factor in terms of "God talk" and I love a Home Mass, a gathering of friends and family for more spiritual sharings.

The friendships I had with nuns and priests as a schoolgirl and into my adulthood was probably a major reason why the revelations in 1991-92 (shortage of priests, married priests, clergy sexual abuse, mandatory celibacy and the rest of church politics) came as such a shock. As an adult, I wasn't part of the internal system--parish council, Cursillo or other religious group, but I considered myself a close secular friend to nuns and priests. I thought I had an ear to the convents and rectories and these subjects never came up in conversations. Many personal things from their lives were shared. However, I had no idea that nuns or priests got married or even had romantic relationships, let alone the politics and corruption.  

When our Canadian cousin priest would visit in the summertime, he always brought his housekeeper. Today, I wonder just who she was in his life. Having Lucien around the house so much probably humanized these Holy people for me, though I always revered them as the Chosen Few who responded to the gift of the Holy Spirit--Jesus was alive in their belly, as I saw it.

Fast forward to the early 1990s and losing my parents five weeks apart from one another. There are so many personal stories to tell about the founding of CITI/Rentapriest especially as a result of my Mom's unexpected death that I can hardly wait to get started. There are also some great photos.

*The Bingo Report: mandatory celibacy and clergy sexual abuse, 2005. Available through Amazon.com.
#

(As I write this, I realize that in the 22 years that have passed, I don't think my siblings and I have ever had a retrospective conversation about how the untimely death of our parents affected us introspectively. We obviously went through the motions and emotions together, but we are quite spread out geographically so our infrequent gatherings surround children and grandchildren events, not around each other, an interesting observation as we near our own end of life.)

#